When Seeking Social Media Validation Calls For Intervention
A million likes will never be enough, if you don't like yourself
BY: JERELYN LEE
BREAD LOVER
Let’s face it and be real. Living in a time and age where technology revolves around all of us, hashtags, algorithms, the number of followers we have, shares, views, hearts and like counts, matter. A means of measuring one’s success, the feedback and attention we receive from the posts we make on social media, has come to be something many of us seek validation from. Where should we draw the line, and when does it call for intervention?
Understanding what social media validation is
There is no question that social media has become part and parcel of everyone’s lives. Just like how an individual desires to be liked by others, it is normal to post something online, and have the same longing for the things that have been posted, to be well received by others.
More likes, more comments, more followers? This equates to us feeling better.
Finding a sense of contentment in the numbers that are in ‘black and white’, where it goes out of hand, is when we start to anticipate how many likes, comments and shares we are going to get on the next post, develop a reliance on the opinions of others, and use that as a leverage for reassurance, validation, and to feel good about ourselves.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
Do the numbers really matter?
It is human nature to seek reassurance from the people around us. In true fashion, we are inclined to feel a boost of confidence when we see that a post we have made on social media has garnered high viewership. Perhaps it is how we as a society have been brought up to perceive high scores and numbers, and deem it as a successful achievement- this value has been innately ingrained in us, so much so that when the numbers fall short, our pride, self esteem and ego take a blow.
Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
Seeking validation comes in different forms
We seek reassurance and validation in different manners. For some of us, it makes us feel better seeking a second opinion from someone else, and for others, it feels more rewarding, reaching out to a larger audience. In these instances, social media platforms make it easily accessible to be validated by the ‘reach’ an individual’s posts attain.
Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash
Where problems arise
Seeking validation on social media becomes a problem, when an individual becomes overly reliant and dependent on finding temporary, short-term fixes through the ‘numbers’ and ‘reach’ their posts have. For people struggling with body image, their insecurities are ‘cured’ by the number of comments reassuring them that they look good. This keeps them making similar posts to continue seeking validation, and get an extra boost in confidence.
On the other end of the spectrum, other individuals may find their content is no longer doing as well as before, and the most popular post they had was a one-hit wonder. Making comparisons to others online with seemingly picture perfect lives, gives way to jealousy, envy and contempt. It is a good idea to step away from social media when you experience such emotions.
Photo by Gilles Lambert on Unsplash
A personal testament: I, too, am guilty
As a fellow creative, whose works best thrive on social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram, I am no stranger to publishing works online, not only to share them with the community, but to get feedback on how I can better improve. Delving into a cycle of checking through my notifications every other hour or so, to see how the post I make is doing, I have experienced what it is like paying attention- close scrutiny, if you will, to the ‘reach’ and ‘numbers’, just to affirm and motivate myself to share more creative works.
Well acquainted with the disappointment when some posts do not fare as well, if there is something I have taken away from using social media as a platform to promote creative works, it is that ultimately, the works I create, are for myself, and numbers are not everything.
Afterword: Breaking the vicious cycle of seeking validation online
Identifying the emotions that you have is important. Recognize that the fear of missing out, jealousy and anxiety that you feel, are all valid emotions. To break the vicious cycle of seeking validation on social media, before you make your next post, think twice. What is driving you to post it? Are you seeking approval? Is it healthy? If you post it, how will you feel if the post ‘flops’ and does not get the reach that you are expecting?
Social media is a great means of communication and staying connected, but your online presence is not everything in life. It is a good idea to steer clear and take some time off to build more meaningful connections with the people in your life. When it comes to validation, there are other means of building yourself up, instead of turning to social media sites to validate your worth. Keep a journal and note down things that you are thankful for in your life.
Most importantly, remember that you are somebody, even before your social media account was created.
JERELYN LEE | BREAD LOVER
Jerelyn Lee is an aspiring content creator, who is passionate about the Arts. An enthusiast in writing, drawing, photography and music, she is keen to capture and share moments, memories and life experiences.
While she is shy in nature, she is more than happy to talk about books, art, anime, music and the joys (woes, and lessons) in life.
